67 Independence

67 IndependenceLifeDialogue with the Universe

“It is experience precious to a young person to notice "a difference between oneself and the others." It becomes the cause to go to independence. However, regrettably many people will go to dependence with reverse independence. By uniting with familiar someone, they try to negate loneliness.
The object of their dependence is a sweetheart, the best friend, or a family. Those dependence is only the means for curing one's loneliness. Therefore, the self-centered action which disregards a partner's character and goes to monopolize thoroughly is seen frequently. Or they lose themselves completely and are under the partner's thumb.
It can be said that it is just manifestation of dependence, if they would like to meet their partner every day, or desire to be together always, or want to monopolize their partner. Even if the wish is filled temporarily, it never lasts long. Because their partner are different existence from them, and they are another characters.”


“When it is in dependency, the leading role of your life is not yourself. The partner for dependence is the leading role of your life, and is governing your life. With independence, we become the leading role of our life.”・・・ Anyway, a dream cannot be realized while you have been weak lonely. That everybody take over loneliness and try hard towards realization of a dream makes possible the better human relations which respect mutual character.

Original text: Shigeki Suwa『援助者のためのコミュニケーションと人間関係 第2版』建帛社

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.
Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.
And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.  -Steve Jobs1955-2011

The friendship between the wise men is light like water. ―Chuang-tzu B.C.552-B.C.472

67 自立

67 自立【知性を探る】宇宙との対話


原典:諏訪茂樹『援助者のためのコミュニケーションと人間関係 第2版』建帛社


孤独は、創造を業とする者には、神が創造の才能を与えた代償とでも考えたのかと思うほどに、一生ついてまわる宿命である。 塩野 七生「ユリウス・カエサル」ルビコン以降[] (p.115)


『愛するものと一緒に暮らすには一つの秘訣がいる。すなわち相手を変えようとしないことだ。気にさわる彼女の欠点を直そうとすると、忽ち彼女の幸せまで破壊することになるからだ』【ジャック・シャルドンヌ (1884-1968)

66 Select good environment for your growth

66 Select good environment for your growthLifeDialogue with the Universe

Since we tend to follow the influence of others or environment, we have to choose the environment of being able to be subject to good influence.

Both bad habits and good habits infect from person to person.

ResourceKelly McGonigal "The Willpower Instinct"

66 よい環境を選ぶ

66 よい環境を選ぶ【人生】宇宙との対話




65 Self Control/Coping

65 Self Control/Coping【Life】Dialogue with the Universe

65-1 “The Willpower Instinct”Kelly McGonigal is consulted very much.
The phrase with which I am pleased is as follows.
○Self-control can be demonstrated if you breathe slowly. (p.92)
○Movement, sleep, and relaxation become willpower strengthening. (Second Chapter)
○If it has fallen, it will become easy to lose temptation. It can have confidence, if a guilty feeling is wiped away. (p.232)
○Even if it fails, let's have consideration to ourselves. Then, it is avoidable to repeat failure out of a guilty feeling. (p.232)
○It is an opposite effect that thinking, feeling, and desire tend to be suppressed, and when it does so, the thing which you want to surely avoid on the contrary will be considered, felt or performed.
○We will overcome the wave of thinking, feeling, and desire by recollecting the target which can be absorbed, or acting toward the target which is really important for itself. (Chapter 9)

65-2 Coping to solve personal problems
○In psychology, coping is expending conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress orconflict.
○In personal, coping regains the control of the frontal lobe to the amygdala.

※Amygdala:Amygdala modulates all of our reactions to events that are very important for our survival by secretion of cortisol:a kind of adrenal cortex hormone.
※Of cortisol excess causes the atrophy of the hippocampus of the brain. This atrophy becomes the cause of depression and dementia.

Images are generated by Life Science Databases(LSDB). - from Anatomography, website maintained by Life Science 

65-2-2 Method
○Common distinctions of coping strategies are made between contrasting strategies for example: problem-focused versus emotion-focused.
○ As a way to reduce stress by self-control, there is a method to execute when you feel stress a list of actions to reduce the stress that was created in advance.

<List of action (for example)>・・・You need to be prepared as much as possible.

See clouds and stars
Listen to song
See flowers
See tomatoes
Smell the favorite one
Think about the lottery
Physical intimacy [1]
Receive a relaxation service
Mindfulness [2]
Chatting with friends
Watch TV
Cut your hair
Shave your beard
Brush teeth
Wash your face
Care of eyebrows
Nose pack

1. Massage for secretion of oxytocin [3]. For example, the back massage for 10 minutes. Hug also is good. ( To continue for a week or more) 
2. The mindfulness there is also a normal effect of growth of the hippocampus and amygdala.
<Simple mindfulness>
15 minutes. Close your eyes to focus on breathing. (Anything rather than do not think, to focus only on what is happening now in sight.) ・・・May sleep .
3. Kelly Mcgonigal”How_to_make_stress_your_friend?” at TEDGlobal 2013

65 自己コントロール/コーピング

65 自己コントロール/コーピング【人生】宇宙との対話

65-1 「自分を変える教室」ケリー・マクゴニガル
○呼吸を遅らせれば自制心を発揮できる。 (p.92)

65-2 コーピング(Coping):ストレス低減法
65-2-1 概要


Images are generated by Life Science Databases(LSDB). - from Anatomography, website maintained by Life Science 

65-2-2 方法


タッチケア [1]
リラクゼーション・サービスを受ける [2]

【参 照】
1. タッチケア:体に触れたり触れられたりするとオキシトシン[4][5]が出ることを利用して、痛みや高血圧・認知症を軽減する方法。(毎日10分、1週間以上続けること)
3. 海馬の成長・扁桃体の正常化効果もある。
5. ケリー・マクゴニガル”ストレスと友達になる方法” at TEDGlobal 2013


64 Praise Yourself and Others

64 Praise Yourself and OthersUnleash Your Brain Power 5【LifeDialogue with the Universe

The 4th way to foster neural positive is "to praise oneself and others".
Human is animal that can reflect.
You blame yourself or someone else when you regret.
To blame is into practice and becomes a habit.
Since this habit inhibits the development of positive neural circuits , we need prevention it.
To make it a habit to praise yourself and others every day inoder to unleash your brain power.

When people are praised, they become happy, and brain power will be released.

64 自分と他人を褒める

64 自分と他人を褒める/脳力の解放5【人生】宇宙との対話


63 Not too Greedy

63 Not too GreedyUnleash Your Brain Power 4【LifeDialogue with the Universe

The third way to train positive neural circuit is "not too greedy".
If you are too greedy, field of your view becomes narrow.
When this condition continues your feeling ends up atrophy, and you can not seen fun which is everywhere.
From here, the training of negative neural circuit starts.
So beware of "too greedy"

ProverbToo much is as bad as too little.

63 欲張り過ぎない

63 欲張り過ぎない/脳力の解放4【人生】宇宙との対話



62 Independence

62 IndependenceUnleash Your Brain Power3【LifeDialogue with the Universe

The second way to train positive neural for unlock your originally brain power without having to atrophy is not rely on others.
The reliance on others is withering the emotions insidiously.
Even if you go to temples and shrines or a church, and wish only your happiness and fortunes, the Buddha and God will only get bored.
For unleash of your brain power , it is good to think about not your thing but the surrounding person, and to ask the happiness for the person of the world, if you can do.
But you don't need to do all of your work, everyday life, etc. by yourself.
If you do not assign but continue only miscellaneous business, your feeling will shrink.
You should be advanced work, housekeeping, etc. valuing teamwork and communication and borrowing a surrounding person's power.
After all, in order to set your brain's ability free, the posture in which it does not depend on other things is required.

If you do not depend on other things and have a margin to sympathize with the others, your brain power will be enleashed.

62 自立

62 自立/脳力の解放3 【人生】宇宙との対話




61 Really important thing?

61 Really important thing? Unleash Your Brain Power2【LifeDialogue with the Universe

How do you train a positive neural circuit
At first you never picky cares.
For example, in a modest society, the chances of success are less than the growth society. The opportunity to acquire money, a status, and honor may decrease for most persons, however they may do their best, it will become difficult to obtain them.
Then, if you are going to adhere to what is not and are going to live, your view will become narrow.
If the state continues, you will disappear the pleasure which must be everywhere, and your heart will shrink.
Cultivation of a negative circuit begins from here.
In short, don't be attached to "what is not."
If you understand that getting money, a status, honor, etc is impossible, don't be attached to them.
Instead, be attached to "what existing."
Change your mind to value your really important matter, your ability, etc. And develop them.

Let's train your positive neural circuit and set free the brain's ability equipped from the first

61 本当に大事なことは?

61 本当に大事なことは?/脳力の解放2【人生】宇宙との対話


60 Training of positive neural

60 Training of positive neuralUnleash Your Brain PowerLifeDialogue with the Universe

"Brain decides happiness"

Source: Marci Shimoff [Author] Kenichiro Mogi [Not] "Do it just "ood for the brain" " Publisher Mikasa Shobo (p.2)

According to this book by repeated the same thing, neural circuitry of the brain
will be strengthened.
And these "negative" things are firmly memorized by the neural circuit, and a "positive" things are hard to be memorized.
In modern society with much stress that is going to simple society from growth society, if nothing is done, a "negative" neural circuit will be strengthened in a brain and a "positive" neural circuit will become overwhelmingly inferior in strength.
Then, it is necessary to train being conscious of a "positive" neural circuit.

If you want to become positive, train the upper body.

60 ポジティブな神経回路の養成

60 ポジティブな神経回路の養成/脳力の解放【人生】宇宙との対話


出典:マーシー・シャイモフ []・茂木健一郎[]「「脳にいいこと」だけをやりなさい!」三笠書房(p.2)

・ そこで、「ポジティブ」な神経回路を意識して養成することが必要になってくる。


59 Growth with Pleasure

59 Growth with PleasureLifeDialogue with the Universe

To live is to grow up as an intellect object.
However it is necessary to warn against growth-stopping or shrinking.
For that purpose, you have to find the theme to which life may be applied.

And don't forget to praise yourself and others.

59 一瞬一瞬を楽しみながら成長を続けること

59 一瞬一瞬を楽しみながら成長を続けること【人生】宇宙との対話




58 Positive Thinking

58 Positive ThinkingLifeDialogue with the Universe

An ordinary man must never blame himself.
For common people to blame himself is like making the other enemy. As a result, everything becomes impossible increasingly.
The brain works well when optimistic. 

Then, I send "a murmur."

Don't blame yourself.
But even you are small.
If you won't stop to blame, you'll be flour.

Think positive, do it positive, be positive